The topic today is change, and although I’ve done a post about this before, I really want to explain this in much more detail.
Some people I know are quite shocked or even a bit confused how I can remain so calm and even excited when things seem to be falling apart around me, and it’s to do with my mental attitude and beliefs. I’m going to try and explain them as best as I can here for you, and hopefully you’ll understand the benefits of thinking the way I do.
Before we go much further, I’m going to use illustrations to explain certain things. I’ve said this before, but it’s just to break up the text a little bit and explain things more visually for those who find it easier to follow things that are broken up with things like pictures etc.
So change is good.
Why?
Because everything good in your life happens as a result of change.
If nothing changed, you’d essentially remain a baby for your whole life and would never develop a personality, memories, awareness of yourself, or anything like that.
You’d never experience heartbreak, love, fear, joy, happiness, all of those emotions and experiences that are a result of change and experiencing change. You’d stay on step one of what I’m going to call the ‘changing staircase’.
So if nothing changed, you’d remain on step 1.
You’d stay in ‘baby form’ and wouldn’t experience life. But what happens is some people decide that they’re going to grow up and advance on the changing staircase, but they’re going to worry about things and be stressed and nervous all the time.. This leads to problems.
You see life is a constantly changing environment. In the blink of an eye, everything you think you know can fall apart and you’re faced with a choice..
You can either worry about things panic and become a victim or you can stand up and see it as part of the bigger picture. When you see past the fog of emotions, feelings and all that, you can see the bigger picture which is a different story entirely. Things that bothered you before don’t seem to worry you now.
Why is this?
Because think about it in this way, life is an adventure.
Every single thing that happens to you or around you is an opportunity to either learn something, become stronger, or help others to do the same. At this stage we’re going to need to use an example.
Let’s say you’re really attached to a job.. And you think of this job as your entire life.. Your income is entirely based on this one job and you socialize with your workmates.
It’s your LIFE.
Now, if something were to happen to that job, for example you get laid off; And this is entirely possible given that like I said, everything changes. Your boss could have sudden pressure put on him from higher up the company to remove some people from the payroll because the company isn’t doing well.
So you get laid off, what are you going to do? Many people would panic at this stage and think that it’s the end of the world and that their entire life is falling apart.. But it’s not really like that is it? It’s just a step on the ‘changing staircase’.
It’s a change, which will make you better. New opportunities will be presented to you as a direct result of that change!
New things that otherwise might NEVER HAVE HAPPENED will be right there in your face.. But many people are so blinded by the feeling of helplessness and of worrying about the change that they miss the opportunities before them. Change is a good thing! It just takes some perspective to realize it.
Think back on all the best times of your life.. The best memories and experiences..
Chances are they’re not things you do every day, but rather things that were different.. Outside your comfort zone.. challenges of sorts.
Things in my own life that come to mind are –
- Skydiving
- Traveling spontaneously
- Unplanned nights out
- Following your heart and exploring new relationships
Things outside my comfort zone but they turned out to be some of the best memories of my life. This is why it’s not a problem when things seem to be crashing down around you. If you’re going through a breakup, this is an even easier way to understand what I’m saying..
You’re in a relationship and the time comes for you to part ways, maybe you’re not working out.. You’ve both changed and want different things, or maybe one or both of you have cheated or something like that.
Now of course the natural reaction is to feel upset about this and to panic and think that there’s no way out, but what does that achieve? What does that do to better you and your life?
Nothing..
So right from the start, just think of it as a change, a situation which is advancing you as a person on the changing staircase and making you a better person.
It’s making you stronger!
If you’re lucky, it will make you stronger AND you’ll learn something from it.
Don’t hold on to the past because there’s nothing to hold on to.. All you’re doing is looking back to the past from the real world which is happening now.
You can’t change the past, but what you CAN change and control is what you do right now.
In this very moment and at every moment you experience change or a stressful situation, you always have the choice of how to think feel and act. Of course, breaking up with someone you’ve been with for a while will hurt, but don’t let it go on for longer than it needs to.
The heart needs a bit of time to repair itself, but the more you look at things in the way I’m describing here, the less time you need to repair. Because, you get to the point where you just don’t get broken as easily.
You just don’t get stressed about that boss at work shouting at you, because you know that there are many more jobs out there.
You don’t get upset when you see your ex with someone else, because you’re doing the best you can in YOUR life, and you don’t need to feel upset about what’s going on in theirs.
The best thing you can do when things change..
I’ve stood by this for a year or so now.. The absolute best thing you can do for yourself, and everyone you know is to become the best version of yourself.
Whatever the situation, never let anything slow you down and sap your energy away. Just keep going..
‘A snake that cannot shed it’s skin will die’. You need to be able to adapt in order to live in this world, simply because everything is always changing.
Let’s look at the example of a breakup..
You are told that it’s over.. So what do you do? Become upset, panic, go into denial? Or do you just dust yourself off and carry on with your life? There are billions of people in the world, if you want another relationship there are PLENTY of people to choose from. Look at it almost as if you’re an outside observer.
Look down on yourself from a higher perspective, as if you’re above it.
See yourself getting dumped, and observe your mind and how it reacts.
See yourself being a little upset but then at the same time look forward into the future.
Imagine all the things you could be doing, all the opportunities there are in life and think about what you really want.
When you remove the fog in this way and look at things with a calm mind, you’re able to see that things which seem like big problems right now, really aren’t. Meditation really helps with this, and if you’re interested, download the ‘Meditation Pack’ From Ennora.
This is why I’m not crippled when I lose my job, or when something bad happens, because I see it as part of the bigger picture.
If this perspective has helped you in some way, please share it with your friends!