This post is inspired by a speech by Jim Carey. For those who don’t know who he is (really?) I’ll link to the video at the bottom.
Sometimes we can get so obsessed with trying to fit in, trying to look like everyone else and to talk the way others do, that we forget who we really are. It’s possible to lose what you really are because you’re too worried about what other people think about you. This makes you almost invisible.
It’s a dangerous and scary thing for realise, but sometimes, your need for acceptance can make you invisible. You become so anxious about the way others perceive you that you actually fade into the background. Think about it, you never remember the person who’s exactly like everyone else, do you?
You remember the people who are unique, interesting and who have their own story to tell. You don’t listen to the person who’s a sheep, in the same way that you don’t usually respect and look up to someone who just follows the crowd. You listen and NOTICE the people who are interesting, and who walk their own path.
The game changers. People like Steve Jobs, he re invented the mobile phone, making it easy to use, functional and very fun to own. He didn’t copy all other phones (although the latest models since he died have copied Android). You should want to be unique.
You’ll waste energy trying to fit in
If you always try to fit in, try to be like everyone else you’ll end up wasting all of your energy on it, and you’ll become invisible. People won’t notice you, and you’ll fade into the background. You’ll be the sort of person that no one notice when you walk into a crowded room, because you just don’t have your own ideas and thoughts.
That’s what really makes us as humans unique and different from each other, we’re not a colony of ants, or a herd of sheep but so many behave as though as are! We need to be our own people, unique and always staying curious. Questioning everything and constantly pushing the boundaries that we ‘know’ to be there.
Energy shouldn’t be wasted in this way, and instead of trying to fit in, instead, be your own person. Don’t worry about what others think of you, because ultimately it’s better to have a few people who love you and a few who hate you than it is to have everyone ‘sort of like you’.
Be polarizing
Don’t be afraid to make enemies. If you try to be like everyone else, sure you’ll agree with most people and others will find you ‘alright’ and a nice enough person, but you’ll be missing out on the intense love and relationships that come from being yourself.
The kind of relationships that come to you when you’re not holding anything back: You’re not covering your true personality with a mask just to fit in. You’ll make sue enemies this way, because not everyone will agree with you, but it’s much better to live this way. Not only are you going to find it easier to live your life because you’re not wasting energy trying to fit in, you’ll make better connections with people.
You can almost tell when you’re speaking to someone if they’re just saying things to fit in or to gain your acceptance and agreement. You can sense that they’re not sincere, in the way that they speak, the level of passion they show when talking to you. It’s almost annoying when people just go along with anything, ‘go with the flow’ so to speak.
Now compare that feeling to the feeling when you meet someone who REALLY is passionate about the same thing you are. A person who absolutely cares and loves what he’s talking about, and you feel the same. That connection is so much better, and you know the difference almost instantly. You share a true connection and friendship that you can’t find when someone is just faking it.
Your need for acceptance can make you invisible
And so, by focusing so much on being accepted, because that’s what this is really all about, you can become barely noticeable. People don’t remember what you have to say because they’ve heard it a million times before. Don’t be a ‘me too’ sort of person.
It’s interesting when you meet someone who really is being themselves, to the point where others start to follow them, because they’re leading by example. If you were to take away just one thing from this post today it’s that you don’t need to always fit in.
Sure it might be easier, and you’ll probably feel a little more at ease when you fit in, because no one likes people saying nasty things about them, or feeling that they have few friends, but don’t let that bother you. Eventually, if you just be yourself for long enough, you’ll attract people who not only like you, but that are so similar that you’ll become best friends.
People like this are only attracted to other genuine people, and you’ll be surprised how many genuine people can tell the difference between someone who’s real and someone who’s fake.
Anyway, as promised, here’s Jim’s Original video. The quote where he says ‘Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world’ is somewhere in there, near the middle.