I’ve come to the realization recently that I am happy (or not) based ONLY on whether I’m challenging myself.
Other people don’t seem to be able to affect how happy I am.
I’ve come to a place where my happiness is only affected by MY personal achievements or adventures.
At the end of this post you’ll also find some useful links and tools for being happier, feeling better and living the life of your dreams!
I noticed this over the course of a few months where I had ups and downs which normally would have upset me etc, but instead they hardly bothered me. I think I know why as well, and knowing what I’m about to explain could allow you to be much happier.
It seems that I’m happy when I’m pushing myself, and unhappy when I’m not, so I’m only getting upset or ‘down’ when I lose the battle against myself.
When I failed the 30 day challenge recently, I felt a little down, but then the next day, I carried on and moved further towards my goals etc, in the form of starting a YouTube channel and progressing with my development. That made me happier. Normally, people would get upset over things like arguments with a partner, or instability with their jobs etc, but it seemed that I was not.
Only you can control your happiness
If you let others control how happy you are, you’ll get hurt in the long run. By letting people decide how happy you are, you give away the most basic control of yourself to people that may or may not turn out to be good for you, or even responsible enough to be trusted with your happiness.
What I mean by this, is that if you allow someone, for example, a partner to have control over how you feel to the point where a slight comment from them or a small argument can send you down to the dumps, you’ve made a mistake somewhere along the line. I feel that happiness should be a largely personal thing, and that only YOU should be able to control how you feel.
The way this is achieved, is by setting yourself a life goal.
Set yourself one or two things you really WANT to do with your life, and work towards them. I keep mentioning this on this blog, but that’s because it’s so important! It’s probably the most important thing you can do with yourself, is to figure out what you want and how to get it! If you’re aligned with this, and you’re moving towards your goal, you’ll find small trivial things like arguments don’t bother you.
It’s not that you don’t care, it’s just that they don’t change your emotions and feelings. I have come to the point where I no longer get upset by things, almost nothing changes my emotions and my feeling of happiness, EXCEPT when I fail myself. When I let MYSELF down, for example, by talking myself out of doing something or by not hitting my personal targets.
That’s all that upsets me, with some obvious exceptions. Some things will upset you in life, losing a loved one etc, or having a large argument will of course ‘upset’ you but in terms of your overall happiness, I find that if you’re aligned with your personal goals, the small things have much less of an impact on you.
Your life is like a train
Imagine your life is like a train. You’re the train moving along the tracks, but if you have no goal, you’re De-railed, and in that sense almost anything can move you emotionally or knock you about.
If instead, you are on track and know where you’re going, how to get there and why you’re going there, you’re almost unstoppable. You will find that the closer you get to your goal and the more you feel passionate about it, the less you’ll be affected by other things.
Don’t depend on others for your own happiness
There are lots of people who let others dictate how they feel. You probably even know someone who’s like this, always talking to you and crying about how their latest romantic endeavour has crashed and how they feel worthless etc, does this sound familiar? Just remember, that you deserve to be happy, and therefore why would you GIVE AWAY control of their happiness to circumstances which you may not even have control over?
It’s like giving the wheel of your car to a potentially dangerous diver while you’re in the car.
Remember when you’re feeling down that you actually have control over how you feel. If you’re used to giving up this control, then changing it may take some practice and a bit of time, but in the end you should try and work towards a place where you’re happy regardless of things that are OUTSIDE your control. Don’t rely on other people for your happiness.
Stomp your own path
It’s important that in life, you try and create your own journey instead of trying to follow what others have done. This will put you MILES ahead of everyone who sort of ‘follows the herd’ with their lives. There are a few ways you can start living life on your terms..
- Learn about passive income: Passive income can help you earn money while you sleep, wherever you are in the world. This is the fastest way to be happier, more independant and more successful.
- Take CILTEP: CILTEP is a powerful natural nootropic (smart drug) which makes your brain fire on all cylinders, all day. It helps you to think clearer, faster, and with no negative side effects long time whatsoever.
- Create a website: Having your own website is a perfect way to earn money (lots of it) and share what you love and DO what makes you happy. Read my guide to starting a website and launching your own business in 4 minutes, and for about $9.
- Remember that YOU control how happy you are, no one else. You’re special and you have the ability to create the life you love.