People can be easily influenced. It’s no secret – your words, the way you say them and your body language can have profound effects on people.
Think about when you are faced with a salesman, often they are very persuasive and you almost ‘wanted’ to buy from them. They make you feel comfortable, and will often tell you stories, make you laugh etc to make you more at ease. Of course, after a while we get used to the salesman’s selling tricks, but there are some basic principles which will always make you more influential.
When you know how to speak, and more importantly how to influence people with your words, you can make them, or should I say, ‘guide’ them to do almost anything you want. Ready? Let’s go..
3 tricks to influence others
These are some basic influence techniques which you can use to sway people over to your side, or to get them to do what you want, more or less. It’s more about getting them to feel comfortable around you, so that when you lay down your proposition, they’re more likely to agree.
1. Speak their ‘language’
Everyone has a way of speaking which is personal to them.
Some people are more interested by facts and figures, others are more emotionally connected and prefer lighthearted humor in their conversations.
By matching someones tone of voice and ‘language’, meaning the way they like to speak and be spoken to, you are automatically more influential to them. They trust you and respect you, and feel like they can relate to you, therefore you’re able to have that much more leverage over them.
Make sense?
For example, someone who is very serious in their personality won’t be inclined to do what you want when you say something like “Oi, fancy giving me a lift to town later mate”. They expect a more formal approach, so something like “If you’re free later could I have a lift to town?”.
In the same way, someone who is very humor oriented, and fun-loving won’t enjoy being spoken to in a serious manner, it will bore them, and they’ll be less likely to comply. Speak in a happy tone, and with enthusiasm. Match their energy level.
2. Use positive reinforcement and body language
This is a good psychological technique. Our minds interpret body language very differently to conversation.
Words can be heard, understood and thought about, whereas body language has the ability to make someone think something without them being aware they’re thinking it.
It’s a very perplexing subject, but, for example, if someone is sitting with you, and their face is relaxed and they’re happy, their arms are loosely sitting on the sofa around them, and they’re making good eye contact etc, you’ll naturally feel more comfortable around them.
Believe it or not, more likely to want to do what they tell you, and most of the time you don’t really think about why they’re sitting or holding their body in such a manner.
It’s working on a subconscious level, but there are things you can do to make people more likely to obey you, without them knowing you’re doing it. Open arms suggest you are more open and more comfortable in your environment. It shows you’re not closed off, but rather at ease, and this gives the signal to others around to relax and ‘let their guard down’.
3. Eye contactand physical contact
Make eye contact with the person you’re trying to influence.
Not prolonged creepy eye contact, as that can have the opposite effect, but just make natural, genuine friendly eye contact. Look them in the eye when they talk, and when you’re speaking to them. This will suggest to them that you’re genuine, and it can make them take in what you’re saying better. It keeps them focused and open to new ideas.
Another little trick is with the right people, (remember what we said before about matching someones energy levels, same goes for this), a little bit of physical contact can make them more open to what you want them to do.
Lightly touching their shoulder or side of their arm can make them more willing to do you a favour. The reason being that on a basic level, they feel more connected and close to you, and therefore are more likely to trust what you say and do what you tell them.
Using your body language as a mirror
This is another little trick I’m going to give you. Using your body language as a mirror to affirm things.
When you ask someone to do something, or ask a favor, by using positive body language, such as nodding of the head when you ask, or smiling as you wait for them to answer, you are hinting that they say yes.
As you ask a favor, for example, “Can I borrow this film?” As you ask it, very slightly nod your head, not enough that they’ll comment on it, just a tiny nod that they can see.
It will plant the seed in their mind that they’re going to say yes, and by following this up with some of the other tricks, such as smiling as you finish your sentence, or, (if their energy level/personality deem it appropriate) lightly touching them on the arm before they answer saying something like “Don’t worry, You’ll get it back!”.
Go And Influence Others!
So that’s the 3 little tricks you can use to influence people, but it’s important to not use this for the wrong reasons.
These techniques are shown here as a guide to help you to be more influential, at work, or with your friends, not as a ‘Jedi mind trick’ you can use to get your will all the time. They will work better with some people than with others, but the main reason you should use them is to for example, ask for a pay rise at work, or to persuade someone to do something you think is right.
Some of the tips I’ve given here were inspired by a book I read recently, called ‘Influence, The Psychology Of Persuasion‘. It’s an awesome book, and if you’re interested in such things, go check it out! If you enjoyed this article, we have a lot more, please share etc!